Moving in Together? 5 Things You Should Talk About First

Moving in with your special someone? Congratulations! Combining your home life with the love of your life is sure to have quite a few major upsides. Not only can it benefit the two of you emotionally, but it can also help in a big way when it comes to your finances. From getting to spend more time with your favorite person to affording a better place, there’s a long laundry list of reasons why moving in together can be a great idea. Just don’t forget to discuss a few very important things first.

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day – and all thing’s love – we’ve put together a list of talking points to ensure that the move goes as smoothly as possible for both of you. Good luck and happy moving!

How to Move

First things first: you and your partner will need to decide where and how you move. If only one of you is moving – and you’re moving into the other’s apartment – then your relocation will be less complex. If you’re both planning to move to an entirely new home together, then the move is going to get complicated. Some topics to discuss:

  • Finding a home – If you’re both planning to move to an entirely new place, then you’ll need to begin your real estate search ASAP. Make sure to check Realtor.com to see the latest comprehensive list of rentals and homes for-sale in your city.
  • DIY move vs. hiring movers – You’ll both need to decide whether you want to embark on a DIY move or hire professional movers. This decision usually comes down to the couple’s budget, preferences and schedules. Those looking to rent a moving truck and move themselves, should consider how to tackle the heavy lifting and coordination of such a move. If hiring professional movers, make sure you enlist a reliable company. You can find a licensed and insured moving company through Moving.com’s network of professional movers .
  • Pre-move checklist – Make sure you are each properly prepared for the move by creating a checklist and moving timeline together. To make it easy for you, we’ve put together several checklists, here: Your Checklist for Moving at the Last Minute and The Moving Checklist: A Timeline For Your Upcoming Move .

Expectations

It’s all about expectations! When moving in with someone, it’s important to make sure that you’re both on the same page – both emotionally and financially. By discussing these needs ahead of time, you can prevent heartache and stress later down the road. For example, if only one partner believes that moving in together will – undoubtedly – lead to an engagement, you’ve got a problem. Similarly, if partners disagree on how the rent will get paid, you’ve got a second big issue already. So make sure that each of you understands one another’s expectations and needs well-ahead of time.

Your Stuff

Before moving in together, you’ll need to talk about what you plan to do with all of your stuff. While some furniture and belongings will surely come with you to the new place, some will have to go – especially if you’re downsizing. Before you move, it’s a good idea to print a copy of your new home’s floor plan, measure your own furniture and try to decide what will go where. Here’s what to do with all that stuff you don’t plan on taking with you:

  • Donate, sell or consign unwanted furniture, kitchen items, knick-knacks and clothing – If you decide to donate furniture, household knick-knacks, and clothing to an organization, such as Habitat for Humanity, keep the donation site’s requirements in mind. For example, here are a few of the items that many places won’t accept.
  • Upholstered items with rips, stains, tears, and/or pet odors
  • Hazardous materials/chemicals
  • Unframed mirrors or glass
  • Storm windows/single pane windows
  • Metal blinds
  • Corner tubs
  • Broken flooring
  • Lighting that doesn’t work
  • Encyclopedias or textbooks

I recommend consigning clothing and furniture that is still in good shape – and worth a few extra bucks – at a local consignment store. You can also sell your things by hosting a weekend yard sale or selling the item in an online marketplace, such as Craigslist, a neighborhood listserv, Amazon or Ebay.

  • Rent a storage unit – Chances are, there’s going to be a lot of things that will be tough to part with – not to mention, many of these things you may wish to use later. Unfortunately, there won’t be room for everything. That’s why we strongly recommend renting a self-storage unit. These units are a safe, secure and (oftentimes) a climate controlled way of storing your items for as short or as long of a time as you like. Use Moving.com’s “ Find Storage Now ” tool to compare quotes from storage unit facilities near your new home.
  • Toss the rest – As for your junk, it’s probably best to just toss it. If you’re looking for a way to get rid of bigger pieces, I suggest either posting it on Craigslist under the “free” section, putting it out on the street for someone to pick up, or calling 1-800-GOT-JUNK? to remove the rest.

Home Needs

After tossing your things and/or putting them in storage, you’ll need to both discuss what items are still needed for the new apartment, condo or house. Example of common needs include:

  • Couch and living room furniture
  • Bed, sheets and other bedroom furniture
  • Lighting
  • Rugs
  • Towels
  • Dinnerware and flatware
  • New electronics and appliances

You can either divvy up the list, and both be responsible for certain items or you can shop for these needs together. For large purchases, like couches, sectionals, TVs, dinner tables, etc – I suggest shopping together. Make sure you both agree on a budget for all of your new home needs beforehand.

Money

And speaking of budget, it’s extremely important to talk about the M-word (money!!) before the big move. The good news: moving in together usually comes with a handful of financial benefits, including (but not limited to): shared rent, utilities, bills and groceries. The money you used to spend on transportation via gas, train, plane, uber, etc just to see each other a few times a week, will now be in your pocket.

However, despite saving money, moving in together can still present a few financial hurdles. It’s important to sit down and decide on a monthly budget – what you plan to spend on groceries, luxuries, travel, restaurants, etc. You’ll then need to talk about who pays and how when it comes to rent, mortgage, car payment, etc. Make sure your financial expectations are understood clearly by both parties. If you decide to also combine bank accounts and obtain a joint credit card, make sure you both have access to all bank statements and online banking information.

Given all of the required coordination and planning, moving in together can be a stressful time in your life. Just remember that it should also be one of the happiest as well! Follow these tips, and remember to set all expectations before the move. You can also use Moving.com services to meet all of your relocation needs. Whether it’s finding a reputable mover, renting a moving truck, locating moving supplies in your area or finding a storage unit, we can help. Cheers!