The 8 Questions to Ask Before Moving in With a Significant Other

Moving in with a significant other is a really big deal. Sharing space with the one you love – or, at least, the one you really, really like – can be stressful, and both parties usually bring their own set of cohabitation ideals and expectations to the table. Just like moving in with a sibling, friend, or someone else you’re close to, living together puts a new sort of stress on what may have previously been an easy relationship. Domestic bliss is certainly possible, and many couples have no problem achieving it, but this is one love-focused situation where you shouldn’t let your heart do all the deciding. Because here’s the thing about moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend: if things go south, you’re still tied together by things like your lease, the dog you adopted, and that expensive couch you went halfsies on.

There’s nothing wrong with taking a leap of faith when it comes to matters of love. And in fact, cohabitation rates have been steadily rising in the U.S., with about 18 million couples living together in 2016. But there are downsides to the trend, including a 33% higher chance of eventually getting divorced if living together leads to marriage. This is because of what some experts call “sliding, not deciding,” a tendency of couples to go from step to step (dating to regular sleepovers to living together to marriage) because that’s just the naturally understood progression of things, rather than the smart – or right – choice for their individual situation.

So before you move in with a significant other, ask yourself some questions to make sure that you’re taking the plunge because it’s the right decision for you, and not just because it seems like the logical next step. Because if you consciously decide you want to spend your life with a person, sharing a lease, a dog, and a couch are precursors to future happiness, not ties that complicate a breakup. Here are the 8 questions you should be asking.

Do I see myself with this person long term?

Are we on the same page when it comes to money?

How will we share responsibilities?

Do they do things that annoy you?

Will we both be putting our names on the lease?

Are we good about handling conflict?

Do we travel well together?

Do you like each other’s friends?

There are a lot of serious conversations that you have to get out of the way before moving in with a significant other, but if you’re honest with yourself and each other you should have a pretty clear idea of whether the move is a good idea, or just an uninformed slide into the next step of being in a relationship. Moving in with a significant other is a big step that shouldn’t be taken lightly, but if you follow your heart and your head, you should be setting yourself up for success.